Tuesday, November 10, 2015

6 Reasons Why I'll Never Leave Target

Sooo..I've seen this thing floating around the interwebs about how Tar-jay is going to let customers drink wine while they shop.

I mean, they already have fountain Dr. Pepper. And a Starbucks if its a Target worth going to.
But now..WINE!? BEER!?
Be still, my heart.


There's a few problems with this whole drinking scenario though.
#1-I'm going to be really super crazy poor.
because..

#2-I'm going to be getting drunk & shopping at Target.
I already spend enough money there.
I go in for socks & come out with underwear, a new shirt, some workout shorts that were on clearance, a burlap banner from the dollar section, some mascara & a new mug.
None of which I needed, at all.
And I didn't even get the socks.
 AND I'M NOT EVEN DRINKING YET.

#3-There would be no productivity in my life. See above.
I literally get everything at Target so if I'm drinking while performing normal adult responsibilities, how am I to proceed? 

#4-HOW WILL I GET HOME!?
Ok, see, here I'm being responsible. 
But no, really, whats their plan for this one?
I already spend hours in that place just for fun.
But if drinking is involved too? 
I'll be there even longer.
Its like a real bar. Imagine being depressed & needing to do some retail therapy there while drinking?
Are they going to provide a taxi service for me?

#5-Are they going to provide more food options?
Because ya know, I like to eat when I drink, soooo that would great.
Which leads to my next point.

#6-I'm going to get fat. 
 I'm at Target all the time. 
There will be drinking involved.
I eat when I drink.
So A+B=C. So that's how I'm getting fat. 

In conclusion, Target, you have made me fat, poor & unproductive.
But still responsible! 
Thus, I will never leave you, Target.
You can do no wrong & I will embrace all that you have to offer.
Even if it includes becoming fat & poor.
Me love you long time, Target.


16 comments:

  1. Haha I love this post! My husband never understands why I find random reasons to run to target every other day..basically because I get coffee and to look at pretty things. Target is the greatest.

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    1. Haha! Same here! He will get home from work & I'll get Harper down & I'm like..oh hey, gotta go get her some more milk. Hes like, nah, we're good until tomorrow. I'll get some in the morning. And I'm like I JUST WANT TO GO TO TARGET! haha

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  2. This is too funny, but I'm not going to lie, I could totally get behind this whole sip and shop idea!!

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    1. Wouldn't it seriously be amazing!? Woman heaven. Those marketing people sure know what they're doing!

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  3. seriously, can we be best friends?! I am so target obsessed some may say it is overboard. I hadn't yet heard about this drinking and shopping thing but, it is right up my ally.. for getting home, uber girl! So when are we going shopping?!

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    1. I don't think theres Ubers near me!
      Lets Skype shop!!

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  4. I love Target!!! I'm fortunate enough thought that it is not close enough for me to frequent on a regular basis! :))

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    1. My husband would loooove it if there wasn't one close to us! Haha, but lucky for me, theres one 5 minutes from our house!

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  5. This is too hilarious. Target really knows what they are doing!

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    1. Yea-those marketing people really know what they are doing over there! Appeal to all the women!

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  6. Haha, this is hilarious! I love Target and I'm right there with you on the going in for socks and coming out with 8 other things, minus the socks.

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    1. Just an excuse to go back again ;)

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  7. Amazing post dear! I invite you to join my Giveaway on the blog:

    theprintedsea.blogspot.de/2015/11/phone-case-giveaway

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    Replies
    1. Will check it out! Thanks, love! :)

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  8. Wish we had a Target here!
    Hi Stopping by from Mom Bloggers Club. Great post!
    Have a nice day!

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    1. thank you! how terrible that you don't have a Target there! that breaks my heart!

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